Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Analyze This: What's up with Bobby Valentino?

Bobby Valentino blogged for the first time on Global Grind yesterday, and reading it really made my stomach turn. I never really imagined Bobby to be the sexual individual or even found myself the least bit attracted to him (not that he isn't cute). In my humble opinion, I've noticed that with his new album, The Rebirth (In stores now), he has dropped his love and sincere vibe for the ladies and has replaced it with raunchy sexual under and overtones.

Well, right when I thought he couldn't try any harder to be this sexual creature he so wants to be, he writes a blog on threesome's that goes a little something like this....



"What's up, this is your boy Bobby Valentino and I'm very excited to blog for globalGrind. I'm not going to beat around the bush like some of the other blogs; I'm going to jump right into it and let you know 3 is the new 2.

The art of a menage a trois is a great skill to have, but there are some rules you have to follow.

* Bring a lot of liquor (Goose, Nuvo, Henny) and something to chase it

* Bring a lot of condoms: Magnums "the gold standard"

* Pick who you are going to give it to first: If you can't decide who will get it first, choose the one with the butterfly tattoo.

* Give both ladies equal attention: You don't want one shorty getting mad because you are not giving her enough of the big Valentino.

* It's not about you: One thing you must remember is that the threesome is not about you. You have to do your best to turn both women on like Keri Hilson. If you are laying the pipe the right way, they'll do you right. Soon they will both be fighting to top each other sexually when it comes to pleasing you, but if you are wack, you will be on the sideline looking at all the action.

* Do something: There will be a time during the threesome when both women will be focused on each other, so use this time to get your stamina up, rub, grab squeeze and lick. You want to remain the star of the show, but you have to let them get a little camera time.

It's pretty easy to catch feelings for the other chick, but you cannot do that if one of the women in your threesome is your lady. You don't want wifey to go Jazmine Sullivan on you because you got it on with the other woman without her.

You should also be respectful when you bump into either of the women in the streets. You don't want to make her feel bad because she was licking lady parts, after a Bobby V show. In all just use common knowledge and do your best to be the best you can."


Weird for his first blog, but hey it's a blog nonetheless. Bobby V seems to be trying a little too hard to acquire a solid fan base and is using the all too familiar entertainment industry "key to success", sex. In the process he is losing the little fan base he already has. Personally, I think sex is a natural occurrence and it annoys me how the media likes to play up on it but refuse to talk about it and play it off like it's demonic activity. However, there is a very thin line between naturally having "sexy" drip from your lyrics as an artist, and just plain forcing it.

Take Ludacris for example (who happened to have signed Bobby to his label DTP). Luda tends to be a little sexual in his music saying things that will shock but also cause a response of aggreance (from men and women) in what he is saying; but what makes Luda so appealing when he talks sex, is the fact that it never seems forced and you can almost bet he speaks from experience. When Bobby sings about "beeping" , I don't know about anyone else, but it turns me off and it sounds like he lacks experience in that department but does a great job of living vicariously through his friends that live that "ideal" life.

Bobby needs to stay true to himself and resist trying to do whatever it takes to sell records because in the process he comes off as a lame. And if in fact this is who he really is, maybe he needs to tone it down and find another way to express that side of him more naturally.

Plus, a lot of people that have participated in threesome's don't go on and talk about it willingly, it usually just comes up in convo.

What do you think about Bobby's threesome post?

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